Kinks and fetishes have never been more mainstream than they are today. Whether it’s the transparency that the internet allows or society’s growing openness, more people than ever are embracing their sexual desires—and it’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Maybe you’ve noticed it in your own circle. Friends casually talking about DDLG, BDSM, or foot fetishes is becoming more common. People with all kinds of fetishes are coming together, and the term “fetish culture” is edging toward the mainstream. Communities centered around kink are thriving, with well-attended events, workshops, and a growing number of websites catering to fetish enthusiasts.
One of the key platforms behind this growth is FetLife, a social media site dedicated to the kink community. Launching right as social media was taking off, FetLife has become an institution for kinksters worldwide. The platform helps both veterans and newcomers explore and connect with like-minded individuals, offering an easy way to map out your position on the kink spectrum.
A Quick History of FetLife
FetLife was launched in January 2008 by Montreal software designer John Kopanas (aka John Baku). Frustrated with the difficulty of finding partners who shared his kinks, he first created “Friends With Fetishes.” Over time, this evolved into the FetLife we know today.
By 2017, the platform had over 6 million users, a number that continues to grow as people discover and explore their sexual desires. Initially, any user could create a group for any kink, but moderation became necessary. In 2017, the site temporarily paused group creation to purge content with words like blood, needles, r*pe, or taboo, after which group creation resumed under stricter guidelines.
All new users are automatically enrolled in FetLife Announcements for site updates. Still, there are countless other groups to explore: Ask a Submissive, Ask a Dom, Ask a Mistress, Novices and Newbies, and more. Beyond groups, FetLife functions like other social media sites—you can add friends, private chat, post to walls, upload media, and comment or like content.
Unique Features That Make FetLife Stand Out
FetLife blends the best elements of Facebook and Tumblr. Your wall and newsfeed resemble Facebook, while the “Explore” section functions like Tumblr, with media posts displayed in a gallery format. You can filter content by friends, popular posts, or new posts, and choose to see just pictures, videos, text, or all three.
Because of the frequency of sexy content, FetLife doubles as a source of amateur, fetish-oriented media—though how you use it is entirely up to you.
The Groups tab lets you search for and follow discussions on kinks that interest you. You can browse by popularity or newness, making it easy to find communities that fit your interests. Once you feel comfortable in the online community, you can transition to real-life events. FetLife maintains an active Events section for meetups, swinger parties, orgies, BDSM classes, and more. You can even check events in other cities before traveling.
Additionally, you can browse FetLife by city, state, or country, making it easier than ever to connect with kinksters locally or globally.
Sleek Design and Minimal Ads
Unlike many adult-focused social networks, FetLife is visually clean, easy to navigate, and mostly ad-free. There’s typically only one small ad in the newsfeed, usually relevant to kinksters. The site also offers an open-source Android app, with an iOS version reportedly in development.
Why FetLife Works
FetLife succeeds because it’s both functional and community-focused. It’s ideal for beginners and veteran kinksters alike. People are generally welcoming, helpful, and happy to educate newcomers. You can get as much or as little out of the site as you like—it can even serve as a source of amateur kink content if meeting people isn’t your priority.
If you already know your place on the kink spectrum, it’s time to create a profile and start connecting with your tribe. If you’re a newcomer, don’t be shy—head over to fetlife.com (often misspelled as “fettlife”) and start exploring.
In the world of kink, having a supportive community is invaluable. On FetLife, you’ll never have to navigate your desires alone.
