Have you ever looked at a phone and seen romantic love memes? These are those funny or sweet pictures about love that people share. They show people hugging, holding hands, and looking very happy.
But sometimes, looking at those pictures makes us feel sad. Maybe you have a friend, or someone you like, who is not very nice to you. Maybe they do not treat you like the people in those sweet pictures. And you might think, “Why do I always pick friends or people who do not treat me right?”
If you feel this way, I want you to know something very important: You are not bad. You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. But we do need to have a big talk.
If you keep picking people who are mean, or who run away, or who do not share their toys, you have to change what you are doing. And the best part is, you can change it! You have the magic power to fix this all by yourself.
Here are six easy steps to help you find good friends and good love.
1. Make a Big List of Rules
Before you go out to play, before you talk to a new person, you need to make a list.
Do not write down silly things. Do not write down that they need to wear cool shoes or have the best pencil box. Those things do not matter. You need to write down what is in their heart.
Write down your big rules. What do you really, really need?
- Do they need to be kind?
- Do they need to share?
- Do they need to listen when you talk?
Write it down on real paper. When you know your romantic love memes, you will not forget them. Sometimes, a new person comes along, and they are very fun to look at. But if they break your big rules, you have to say “no thank you.” Keep your list safe.
2. Use Your Big Kid Words
This step is very big. Lots of kids are scared to say what they want. They think if they say, “I need you to be nice,” the person will go away.
But guess what? If you ask someone to be nice and they run away, that is good! You do not want a friend who runs away when you ask for kindness.
A really good friend wants to know how to make you happy. They want to know your rules. But they cannot guess what is in your head. You have to use your mouth and tell them.
If you are hungry, you say, “I am hungry.” If you are sad, you say, “I need a hug.” Do not just sit quietly and hope they know. Practice using your words every day. The right people will love to hear what you have to say.
3. Watch Their Feet, Not Just Their Mouth
This is a very big secret. Words are very easy to say. Anyone can say, “You are my best friend.” Anyone can say, “I will play with you forever.” They can even send you a hundred romantic love memes on their phone to make you smile.
But what are their feet doing? What are their hands doing?
If they say they will come over to play, but they never show up, believe their feet. They did not come over. If they say they like you, but they push you on the playground, believe their hands.
Do not listen to the sweet words if the person is acting mean. Watch what they do. Watch how they act over and over again. If their actions are bad, do not keep them around.
4. Look Inside Your Heart
Now we are going to play a game of hide-and-seek. But we are looking for feelings.
If you keep picking people who hide from you, or who are mean, we have to look inside your heart to find out why. Sometimes, deep, deep down in the dark parts of our heart, we feel bad about ourselves. We might think, “I do not deserve a good friend.”
Maybe you are used to people being mean, so it feels normal. Maybe you like the game of chasing someone more than you like just sitting and being happy.
This is not your fault. But you have to look at these sad feelings. Shine a bright flashlight on them. When you see the sad feelings, you can fix them. You can say, “I am great! I do deserve good friends!” When you fix the inside, the outside gets much better.
5. Be Your Own Best Friend
Think about a cup of water. If your cup is empty, you are very thirsty. If you wait for someone else to fill your cup with water, you might wait a very long time. Mean people will never give you water.
You have to fill your own cup! You have to be your own best friend.
Do not wait for a boy or a girl to tell you that you are smart. Tell yourself, “I am so smart!” Do not wait for them to tell you that you are pretty or handsome. Look in the mirror and say it to yourself!
When you know how great you are, you will not let people be mean to you. You will say, “I am awesome, and I only play with awesome people.” Fill your own cup up first.
6. Listen to Your Tummy
You know that funny feeling you get in your tummy? When something is wrong, your tummy feels tight. When someone is not safe, your tummy tells you.
You already know when someone is bad. You feel it! But sometimes, we tell our tummy to be quiet. We say, “But I want to play with them! I do not want to be alone!” So we ignore our tummy.
From now on, you have to listen to your tummy. If your tummy says, “Uh oh, this person is tricky,” you have to walk away. Do not talk yourself into staying with someone who feels scary or mean. Your tummy is always right. It is your special alarm bell to keep you safe.
You do not have to be sad. You do not have to look at sweet pictures on a phone and wish you had that. You can have it! Just make your own rules, use your words, watch what people do, listen to your heart, love yourself, and listen to your tummy. You are going to find the best love and the best friends ever.
